Lazy Man Blog

I'm lazy enough that posting via email to this blog is perfect! 

Star Trek is dead, let it rot.

Just watched the new Star Trek trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/startrek/

Looks like a decent, maybe even fun, sci-fi flick. 

But, IMO it has nothing in common with what Star Trek started out to be except for the names of the characters, and the ship.

Star Trek should have died with Roddenberry* but it will never rest in peace as long a some Hollywood Loser thinks they can squeeze a buck out of it.

The late 70's and the 80's had tons of sci-fi movies. Not all were great and not all were original but a lot of gems came out of that era. 

How about making some cool, NEW science fiction movies instead of endlessly rehashing the old stuff?

Maybe Cameron can pull it off with Avatar - we'll have to wait and see.

Geoff

*for me ST died after Wrath of Khan, Roddenberry passed on much later than that.


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Can you hear this?

http://trainhorns.net/sound/

Clicking the play button will produce a tone that is generally only heard by people under the age of 25. It has been used as a deterrent device to keep teenagers from loitering in malls and shops, and sounds similar to a buzzing mosquito.

The question is, can you hear it? I can! 

Train Horn

Created by Train Horn

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Parents of the year

Parents of the year

                   
Click here to download:
Parents_of_the_year.zip (797 KB)

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Babies & Pet Pics

Please save this for the next time you hear someone say:

They have to get rid of their pet when they have a child.


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Two kids in a hospital bad-dump-bump.

via email (uncredited)

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'

The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I am a little nervous.'

The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four.

They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice cream. Don't worry, It's a breeze.'

The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?'

The first kid says, 'A circumcision.'

'Whoa!' the second kid replies. 'Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year.'


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I made my first Ruby Gem! (ruby-filemagic re-implemented with FFI)

Took the old ruby-filemagic gem , last touched years ago, and made it easier to install.


What did I learn?
  1. How use ruby-ffi to make calls to native methods easy-cheesy
  2. How to make a gem by using the jeweler gem . This was also easy-cheesy.

What could be better?
  1. More tests
  2. Try it out in JRuby as FFI is supposed to make this stuff JRuby compatible.
  3. Feedback!

Have a look... here .

Update: darn, its not working. will fix and update
Update: works now

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We Made It!


 fowarded to me. (uncredited  as usual)
      
To Those of You Born
1930 - 1979

At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, please
read what he said. Very well stated, Mr. Leno.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
 
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
 We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no person al computers, no Internet and no chat rooms
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. 
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.


We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.


The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!


You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?


The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'



 

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TRIP TO WAL-MART (LOL)

Thanks Karen for this laugh-out-loud (and uncredited) email.



TRIP TO WAL-MART

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.   Forward this to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the Day!


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Kreepy look-a-likes



 


 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Messenger wants to send you on a trip. Enter today.


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Why Boys need parents




: Why Boys need parents

 
 to all those who have sons

                     

This is for mothers of boys,
sisters of boys,
and boys that have grown older.  
And anyone else who needs a laugh.
 
Why boys need parents...
 


 

 

















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And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2! .) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound B oy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in
Austin ! , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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